Friday, November 11, 2011

What should I do?!! PLEASE Help Me!!!?

She isn’t my girlfriend, though I’m not quite sure what we are. I’m 22 and she’s 23. I meet her at a friends wedding party, about 6 and a half months ago. And we have been very close “friends”. Though we have never been intimate ually…our relationship is anything but platonic. We have a very strong emotional bond. I am a , and she is fully aware of this. She is…I guess straight (though it is highly debatable), and we’re both single. We spend most of our free time together. Watching movies, and talking endlessly about any and everything. It hasn’t been long but I care for her deeply, and I know she does for me as well. Anyway, last night we were cuddled up, under the covers in my bed, watching a movie like many nights. I started to doze off and she poked me gently on the side of my rib cage. I jump and started to giggle. She knows how ticklish I am on my sides. I guess she was in a playful mood, as she began to tickle me more. I was out of breath and breathing heavily, when she stopped, and I noticed her staring at my-- lips? She smiled, looked me in the eye, and said, “I just want to know…I can’t help it”. She began to lean in for a kiss…but I beat her to it. So, we were now making out, when I flipped her straddling body beneath mine. I started kissing her deeper, running my hands over her exposed torso. Caught up in the moment, I brought her hands up over her head, holding them in place with my hands, and pinned her legs between mine. I knew something was awfully wrong when her body froze. I looked down at her and her eyes were huge, staring up at me, with definite fear and pain. Her face was drained of any color. And her bottom lip trembled nearly as bad as her body was. She started to struggle beneath me. I immediately let go of her limbs. However, she just freaked! Pushing and clawing at my body. Sobbing repeatedly, “NO, stop it! Pleases, don’t--it hurts” Her eyes were glazed over, pouring with tears—She was anywhere but here. It really looked like she was reliving something absolutely terrifying. I was scared s!%t-less . I didn’t know what else to do. So, I shook her. Her head snapped back, and she looked at me, fearful and confused. She was very silent and it was scaring me. She fell into my arms, burying her face in the arch of my neck. I held her, stroking her back and hair, telling her she was safe, everything was going to be okay. I could feel her heart boring into my chest, as I tried to comfort her. She was trembling from head to toe. I couldn’t stop the broken sobs of, “sorry” or her tears. I felt so helpless. I rocked her back and forth, until she cried herself into exhaustion. Later that night she woke up screaming from nightmares. I am still a bit in shock. I am not sure what I should do. The day has ped since that night and she is going on as if nothing happened. I confronted her about it. But as soon as I started to push a bit she looked on the verge of tears. I love her. And I want so badly to be there for her, especially now when she needs me. I really need some advice…please, what should I do?!!

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